Friday, February 1, 2008

Raising Children

I have raised three children to what I consider successful adulthood. That doesn't make me an expert but after all my children taught me, I am closer than when I started. My docter advised me against breast feeding. He said something on the order of, "You don't want to go through all that. It just isn't necessary these days." It was only after all three of mine were past the baby stage that I came to see the convenience of breast milk instantly available as opposed to braving a chilly kitchen in the middle of the night or in the early morning, holding a crying baby, waiting for a bottle to heat. And that isn't even taking into account the added nutritional value. I started out thinking infants should not be allowed to cry. If they cried, there was something wrong. After hours, days and weeks of rocking, walking and jiggling in order to get my first baby to sleep, I finally realized that all I was accomplishing with my efforts was to keep him agitated and awake. He taught me that all I needed to do was feed him, cuddle and rock him a little, then put him in his bed. He would cry for a short time, then fall asleep. What frustration preceeded this lesson for both of us. I also had a firm picture of what was expected of the "ideal" wife and mother. I tried to be her. This came to be known as "50s Housewife Syndrome." There was much guilt and frustration until I finally relaxed into a somewhat normal person. Long years later I can see the wisdom in Kahlil Gibron's words about children:

Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of life's longing for itself. They come through you but are not of you, and though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday.

I live in a different world than that in which my parents lived, now my children live in a different world than mine, and so on... and so on...

Monday, January 21, 2008

The Silence

I was almost 10 years old when the U.S. declared war on Japan. As long as that war lasted you could not pick up a newspaper without seeing the war as the main topic on the front page. It was also the main topic in newsreels and radio news broadcasts. We bought "Defense Stamps" at school and pasted them in books until we had enough to buy a "War Bond." We collected paper and metal for the "war effort." We planted "Victory Gardens."

Now, most days, by looking at the front page of our local paper, I would never know we are involved in a war. That puzzles me.

The bad state of the economy is there but it is mostly attributed to the crisis in the housing market. Wouldn't you think all the costs of the war would be a main part of the problem?

I wasn't puzzled when we went into Afghanistan to find and destroy the terrorists whose plot brought down the World Trade Center. I was puzzled when, faced with the costs of that war, our president decided a tax rebate was in order. I "gifted" that money back to the government.

I was beyond puzzlement when we declared war on Iraq looking for weapons of mass destruction. I thought we were fighting terrorists.

We didn't find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. We also found that most of the terrorists who brought off the World Trade Center attack were natives of Saudi Arabia.

I don't understand Bush's recent friendly visit to the Saudis during which he promised to push for the sale to them of advanced weapon systems. Doesn't anyone remember where most of the World Trade Center plotters came from? Do the news people remember?

Why is it treated as good news when foreign money comes in to prop up Citi Bank? We are trillions of dollars in debt and borrowing more each day. It looks to me like we are selling our country piece by piece.

And Bush's solution to our current economic problems? ---another tax refund. By going out and spending this gift of borrowed money we would revive the economy.

There must be something I'm not understanding. With all the noise of this election year, to me there seems to be a great silence out there.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Long Time Between

Christmas is past. On our part it is getting quite simple as the grand kids and we two elders advance in age. A small, fun gift to open --- but the main gift is CASH. That makes it good for both old and young. They get what they want and we (with Amazon's assistance) avoid the Christmas crowds at the stores.

We had the extended family "Goodie Party" at Jenny and Stuart's house on Saturday (a tradition since 1972), and brunch at Ellen and Martin's on Sunday. That was all the time we had for all of us to be together. Jenny and Stuart then left for Aptos. Stuart's father died on Dec. 9 and the memorial service was on the Sunday following Christmas. All his family were in Aptos for Christmas and in the days following prepared for the service on Sunday. Dave's family and Ellen's family were here on Christmas day (Tuesday.) Dave's family stayed on until Thursday morning.

We traveled to Aptos on Dec. 30 for the Memorial Service for Stuart's father, Deane. Ellen drove us in our car. It was a lovely service in a Methodist church on a hilltop, very picturesque. The pastor could have passed for Friar Tuck from Robin Hood. He was short, round, robed and sandaled. He was also a man of many talents. He played the piano for the hymns and also the accordion. The most touching part of the ceremony was when taps was played and our grandson, Zach, walked slowly down the aisle and presented the folded American flag to his other grandma, Hazel, Deane's wife.

January 4th brought a big storm with strong wind and rain. None of our trees went down but lots of dead branches fell, debris everywhere. Last Friday Ellen came up with her three teen-agers and three of their friends. They helped George collect all the litter and pile it in a big pile to be burned later. We paid them with pizza.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Confessions

Iwill confess. I have never done such a thing before but I did it this year. I sent a Christmas letter with my Christmas cards. I know such letters have a bad reputation but I tried not to brag and I kept it to one page.

That is not my only Christmas sin. I bake fruit cakes every year and give some of them as gifts. I have done this for many years and plan to continue doing so. However, I only give them to the few who have the taste and sophistication to appreciate them.

I guess birds of a feather do flock together. I always loved watching the "Fruitcake Lady" on Jay Leno. That's my kind of lady. She got that name because she made and gave fruitcakes as gifts at Christmas. Her other claim to fame was that she was Truman Capote's aunt. He wrote a short story about helping her with this fruitcake project one Christmas during his boyhood. She died this year. Rest in Peace Fruitcake Lady.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Joining In

I like to keep up with the times so here I go with a BLOG! I'm not sure what will appear here but, as has been the case at other times in my life, I will make a start and see what comes. I know there will be something of genealogy, projects and happingings.

When we were young marrieds, we decided to try to figure out where our money went. For a few weeks we kept careful lists of everything we spent money for. In the end we found that most of our money disappeared into that category labeled "miscellaneous." So it will probably be here too. We will see.